Addicted to Rubbish ?

I am addicted to junk food.                


You know, chips , chip & chips. Twisties, pringles, chacos, chipster. But my mum prefers to call it "rubbish". So basically I love eating rubbish.  My mum is not really against the fact that I love those stuff ..because at least Im eating something . I always had trouble eating, from a very young age. I'll only eat if there's something I like on the table. If there's nothing I like, then I simply just not eat. I rather starve. So that was the fussy Eleena back then. Too fussy that came to one point in my life, my mum almost gave up in forcing me to eat. Whenever we'd go out for lunch or dinner and i wouldnt order anything.. She'll say "she'll just eat the air. " Funneyh eh ?  Well back then not funny lah.      

Then I discovered junk food! I started eating it so often that it actually replaced my meals. When I wake up in the morning, I'll go straight to the kitchen and grab a packet of chips. Cause in my house, we are always stocked up with snacks . Then my day just goes on like that up until dinner.

 Does my mother cook? Yes she does. Everyday except the weekends. Sometimes I feel bad for her knowing that I dont eat her delicious cooking.  Anyways, Slowly I got better. When I was 13, I explored few other flavours and unique cuisines of Malaysia.  Eceh like promoting my county, Cuti-cuti Malaysiaaaaa~  Alright enough.

  Long story short, now I am 17. I still dislike many things.  Especially white rice. No no no. Up until now, The side dishes are my main course. Not rice. And junk food? Dah lama I didnt eat it. Since I started working in KidZania . I practically forgot and lost the urge to search for it. Last time I could
go crazy if there wasnt chips at home, stress macam kalah judi.


My advice here is, eat healthily. Avoid junk food. If you don't like it, good youre in the right path cause there is nothing good about junk food. I am your best example of the most unhealthy person with a practice of a complete opposite diet. Please don't follow my food steps although, alhamdullilah I am not obese. This is not the correct way to eat. I am not proud in fact I am worried about my future. My health. I don't want to be addicted anymore.

Don't you worry child

Hello stranger.                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

    According to what we promised, I'm still going by the rules. So this is the only way to say something indirectly to you. I have no idea what the future holds. I still haven't made my decision yet. Cant believe how time flies so fast. I've known you since 2009.  Might not seem that long, but blurgh I don't want to recall those years. Myspace years..hmm Haha. So as the years past by, things got broken , people discovered themselves , we changed.  Somehow, we have nothing in common. Well, maybe not much. But I have no idea why we could still get along.                                              
 
    You're like the most unpredictable person I've ever met & you say I'm like the most egoistic girl ever. You're super sensitive, kalah I okayyy. You can make me smile and laugh, although through text cause I could already imagine how you'd say or do something. Diva Laraaaaa~  Since I'm the kind of girl who has really short memory,I'm glad you're the guy who can remember Every. Single. Detail. & if I need to remember the first time we met, where we met, with who, what time. You'll always tell it to me without complaining. I have no idea how you could keep all those informations. I have trouble even remembering what I ate yesterday. Hope you still remember how to play piano. Nanti I ajar lagi eh, InsyaAllah. Thanks for layan-ing my mengada self, nak try your DJ thing la, nak buat mashup la. Hihi.
   
       As a conclusion, you've been a good company. It doesn't really matter to me if you get this post or not, cause I'm not gonna even try to make you see it. If you get to read it, then good (Y), if you don't, no lost. We've got 17 days to make a wise decision. May it be the best choice for the both of us.

Happy Birthday.                                                                                                                                                                                                    

GRADUATION DAY 2013

Hi everyone! I just had my graduation day yesterday at SEGi Universiti. It was great !! I'll always remember this day. 3 weeks ago, We were working on a graduation video. The video was to be played on the graduation day itself, which was yesterday (26/10/13). So after 3 weeks of running around school, editing, mixing of songs, interviews and standing under the hot sun. We made it !

The crew were a great pack to work with. Despite having so little time to produce a 10-minute video. We managed to work together and made it a complete video for everyone to view it. Especially for the Form 5 students of SMKBSD(2) . In 10 years time, we want you to look back and remember the memories you had during your schooling years in SMKBSD2.

I also performed for the last time yesterday. The last time as a student of SMKBSD2 :( It was a really sad moment for me :'((

                                     

                                     

HERE'S THE LINK FOR THE GRADUATION VIDEO, MAKE SURE YOU SHARE IT, CLICK LIKE, SUBSCRIBE AND COMMENT TOO !

GRADUATION VIDEO OF SMKBSD(2) 2013


GOODLUCK TO ALL THE FORM 5 STUDENTS FOR YOUR SPM :))

SONGS AND THEIR MEANING

Have you ever felt as if a certain song relates to you like it was written just for you ? I'm sure you have.
Speaking from a singer-songwriter view, which I address myself in this post. We love it when people get touched with our songs. When people come to us and say how much they loved it.

When I was 15, I wrote a song called 'Miliki Semua' . It was actually based on my friends realationship at that moment. So she inspired me. I posted it on Youtube and allowed people to download it on mediafire.com . As soon as I did that, people started approaching me and complimenting my song.
I was touched ;) Some even admitted they listened to the song over and over again. Thankyou so much !! :))) But to my surprise, I even found out that Miliki Semua had made a few people cried too. At that point, I didnt really know how to respond to that news. Cause if someone cries to a song you made by yourself, with your own words, your own melody, Your own effort.. that means you managed to reach the persons' heart. I felt like crying too, knowing I managed to achieve that at the age of 15. With just my simple knowledge of Bahasa Melayu. I touched people's heart.

It has been awhile since I wrote songs of my own. It takes time and Im running out of em. The best songs come out when I'm emotional. Not gothic emo, just emotions. Some might say, OH SHE'S GONNA BE ANOTHER TAYLOR SWIFT. Hahaha. But umm, I dont think so. You'll have to start opening your minds a little. Great songs need emotions. I dont want my songs to be like the ones which are just made up of 3 lines repeating 1000 times? Those songs aren't gonna stay long. They are meaningless. And thats why I take time to create them.

Actually, I have a very hard time composing Sad songs. I'll take months, sometimes even years to compose one song. And maybe in the end, I'm still not satisfied with it. I used to have so many ideas, so many tunes and lyrics. But now, I'm really struggling with words and tunes and inspiration and basically composing sad song. I'm losing my emotions, my feelings, my creativity. My ideas are restricted in some way. But I promise you One day, I'll come up with a song which would fill up a bucket of tears. Hehe. Just exaggerating there. okay fine okay. A song which would make you cry, AGAIN :)

Oh and I would like to thank all the people who inspired me in my songs. My Family, My friends, my fake friends, my enemies, anyone I used to love, the drama queens and the jerks.

Based on how everyone treated me, that inspired me to compose my song.

Oh ya, you might ask, Why don't you just compose happy songs? Well, happy songs are like my speciality.. I want to challenge myself. I like to. Because if you compose your own songs, there's a big chance of you having the same genre in all of your songs. Meaning, Your songs may sound similar.. so they become boring.

If you want to ask any questions or suggest a topic I should talk about, feel free to approach me:

Twitter : @eleenaharris
Just comment below :))


To listen to my own songs :
Youtube ; Itseleenaharris
                http://www.youtube.com/user/ItsEleenaHarris/videos

Grrrrrr!

Sometimes I think I have anger management problem. But I don't express my anger by destroying things. My way is more like a horrible speech.

I'm not sure whether, I'm just the kind of person who gets irritated and angry easily or its because I keep most of my thoughts to myself.

I have my levels of anger.  I can feel how angry I am. I can tell people exactly up till which section of my body I am mad. And thats how I usually try to calm myself down ; by knowing the level of anger in me.

I don't like being mad. I scare people and thats not good.  Well for now, it shouldn't be in me but I kindda blew up a little just now.

I feel to sorry to my close friend. I got angry with her for someone else's fault. Feeling really grateful she understands me very well and she knew all I needed was time. I don't  know how many of you can relate to this.  Anyways,  here's my way..

What NOT To Do When I'm Angry :
1) Dont touch me!
- every touch annoys me
2)Don't reply me if you don't have logical answers
-Hate when people act like a genius
3)Don't say sorry during the fight
-most probably I havent finished talking & I love to explain why I get angry so I wouldn't want you to miss that.

If really I am in the wrong,  I'll apologize to you. But after the fight la. Sorry if I got angry with anyone reading this blog. Past is past mwahaha. And I said sorry :p

Friends

How sure are you that the people around you are your true friends? Trust me, some of them aren't even your 'friends' either. You might just exclude yourself thinking none of your friends talk bad about you.  But the truth is,  you can never trust everyone or anything you see. Ive seen so many backstabbers throughout my life. The times where I become the middle person is most common. When I really don't want to get involved in any of their drama,  I get dragged in unexpectedly.

But thats life. I myself have said bad things about other people,  but I realise that it actually brings you down to a lower standard. When a person tells you a secret about her/his bestfriend.  THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED.  Simple as that. From my experience,  the people who I trusted last time,  the one's whom I thought would be my BFF,  is now just a stranger I see on the other side of the road.

Let me tell you a true story about something that happened to myself.  But you have to read it until the end or you'll miss my point. Wait. Promise??  PROMISE?! ..Alright good.

Here's how it starts.

In the year 2010,  I had a bestfriend. We were really close that we spent most of our time together. But unfortunately,  something bad happened.  We fought.  But this time it wasnt just those little arguments we had everyday. It was big. Almost the whole school found out about it and the both of us suffered the period where people started asking so many questions like they were the paparazzi's from Celeb TV.  And I would go like 'No comment', 'I don't know, sorry' or just walk away. Yes I was that mad, that I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I'm sure she felt the same way too. I wasnte even sure if I had friends at that time because suddenly everybody is so nice to me (they wanted to know the reason behind our fight).

It was like war to me.  Because I had to look at someone who I had so much hatred 5 days a week.  We were in the same class,  both prefects, both in the same Sports Blue House,  and teachers would always ask the both of us for help and any performances would always include the both of us. We were like the inseparable pair in school. It made a big impact on almost everyone. I'll reject anything a teacher asks me to do if it involves her. And that caused another problem. Then my family didn't have anyone to call incase of emergency in school. Im sorry, I was just too angry that I wouldn't even want to touch, say, see or do anything related to her, or her name.
Rough eyy?

Throughout the period of cold war,  teachers approached me,  my family advised me to forget about the past and Let Bygones be Bygones.  But I still stuck with my decision.  I didnt bother what anyone else said about me.  But on the other side,  my friend tried apologizing to me,  she tried EVERYTHING. And I respect her for doing so.

So guess what?
We became friends again.  But after 730 days . Or 2 freaking years of war.

If she was as stone-hearted as I am,  we would still be enemies and she would still be in my (invisible people list).

So the conclusion here is that eventhough you've been in a terrible fight,  maybe worst than mine.  Till a point where you feel like killing that person ,  think twice.

In the year 2012, Despite me being a selfish, insensitive individual with a heart as hard as rock, God managed to show me the right path. He managed to make me forgive and forget. Everyone around me were happy again. Especially both our parents.

She is now my closest friend.  Because of the 2010 incident,  I hated the word 'Bestfriend' and no matter what happens,  I'll never call anyone my bestfriend.

Positivity

I just realized how much a person can influence me. Especially the one's whom I am close to, the one's I hold on to & the one's I admire.

It all came to a point where I started to notice almost everything. To the slightest bit, either I was asking whether I would do great in my examinations or would I win a competition, I secretly wanted a postive answer despite the fact that I didnt have enough faith or courage to do so. I just needed support, encouragement, and trust.

I remember someone close to me, giving me support, saying I'll succeed & not to worry if I don't cause it's alright. But, it all changed. I grew up, I realised they were 'lies'.. but 'good lies'. And those lies were the one's which brought me up till this level. The different thing now is, nowadays, no one can really do the 'good lie' trick on me, because I know the secret & so do you. People say you can do it, people say it'll be a piece of cake, they say that you don't have to worry.. although they don't really mean it. And I find it really sad. Sad I found out that those words didnt really mean I was 'great'. Not to say I defined myself as 'great', but as a child, everyone wanted to be successful (a doctor,teacher, lawyer, prime minister. etc. )

So now ?
Well for me, no one's really lying to me. When they think I am not ready or not capable of achieving something.. they just say it right to my face. I may have grown up, and people might just think I'm strong enough to handle the truth but instead I still wanted someone to use those tricks on me. Although this time I know it's different. I still wanted someone to tell me I could, even if my chances were 1/1000000. Just to state something here, I really hate when people start telling me the negative side or the failures of something, before I could even try it out. It's like they are already assuming I would end up the same way.

To be honest, I'm not the kind of person who will do better when someone says I can't. I drop lower than my feet thinking I would never succeed.

 I'm the kind of person who likes someone giving me support. Ill do give my best, & because I know I have someone supporting me, I do have a chance to succeed. Unfortunately my friends, this does not exist in my life anymore and I have to accept it. I have to learn to adapt to the new trick, the 'I challenge you to' or the 'If you dont do great, you'll see what happens'. Maybe it's no longer a trick eyy, cause sh!t just got real.

The conclusion, I say negativity destroys you, kills your will power & slowly kills you. 
 

Start

Hi, I'm Eleena Harris.  Some of you might know me because you're in the same school as I am,  or from youtube, or anywhere else.  That does not matter. You can call me, Eleena. which is pronounced the same way you say 'e' lephant.  haha.  smart eyy, comparing my name to an elephant.

Anyway,  I decided to create a blog because recently many new things had been happening around me. where some I find inspiring and the others,  maybe an advice for you people out there.

As for the topic today, Start! Always, always start your day with a positive mind. Trust me,  it makes a difference. Now, imagine yourself waking up early on a Monday. Horrible right ?  Everybody hates Monday's,  kesian dia. okayokay, back to topic. So why not, now you think of the nicest thing that happened on a Monday. Nothing? you suck.. haha.  but seriously, try doing it every morning.  It makes you more energetic to get out of your comfy bed.
Or think of something you'd want to do at work/school. Just take about 1 - 2 minutes to do so.  AND MAKE SURE YOUR EYES ARE OPEN, or you'll end up dreaming about it :p


Give it a try,  tell me how it goes.