Positivity

I just realized how much a person can influence me. Especially the one's whom I am close to, the one's I hold on to & the one's I admire.

It all came to a point where I started to notice almost everything. To the slightest bit, either I was asking whether I would do great in my examinations or would I win a competition, I secretly wanted a postive answer despite the fact that I didnt have enough faith or courage to do so. I just needed support, encouragement, and trust.

I remember someone close to me, giving me support, saying I'll succeed & not to worry if I don't cause it's alright. But, it all changed. I grew up, I realised they were 'lies'.. but 'good lies'. And those lies were the one's which brought me up till this level. The different thing now is, nowadays, no one can really do the 'good lie' trick on me, because I know the secret & so do you. People say you can do it, people say it'll be a piece of cake, they say that you don't have to worry.. although they don't really mean it. And I find it really sad. Sad I found out that those words didnt really mean I was 'great'. Not to say I defined myself as 'great', but as a child, everyone wanted to be successful (a doctor,teacher, lawyer, prime minister. etc. )

So now ?
Well for me, no one's really lying to me. When they think I am not ready or not capable of achieving something.. they just say it right to my face. I may have grown up, and people might just think I'm strong enough to handle the truth but instead I still wanted someone to use those tricks on me. Although this time I know it's different. I still wanted someone to tell me I could, even if my chances were 1/1000000. Just to state something here, I really hate when people start telling me the negative side or the failures of something, before I could even try it out. It's like they are already assuming I would end up the same way.

To be honest, I'm not the kind of person who will do better when someone says I can't. I drop lower than my feet thinking I would never succeed.

 I'm the kind of person who likes someone giving me support. Ill do give my best, & because I know I have someone supporting me, I do have a chance to succeed. Unfortunately my friends, this does not exist in my life anymore and I have to accept it. I have to learn to adapt to the new trick, the 'I challenge you to' or the 'If you dont do great, you'll see what happens'. Maybe it's no longer a trick eyy, cause sh!t just got real.

The conclusion, I say negativity destroys you, kills your will power & slowly kills you.