Friends

How sure are you that the people around you are your true friends? Trust me, some of them aren't even your 'friends' either. You might just exclude yourself thinking none of your friends talk bad about you.  But the truth is,  you can never trust everyone or anything you see. Ive seen so many backstabbers throughout my life. The times where I become the middle person is most common. When I really don't want to get involved in any of their drama,  I get dragged in unexpectedly.

But thats life. I myself have said bad things about other people,  but I realise that it actually brings you down to a lower standard. When a person tells you a secret about her/his bestfriend.  THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED.  Simple as that. From my experience,  the people who I trusted last time,  the one's whom I thought would be my BFF,  is now just a stranger I see on the other side of the road.

Let me tell you a true story about something that happened to myself.  But you have to read it until the end or you'll miss my point. Wait. Promise??  PROMISE?! ..Alright good.

Here's how it starts.

In the year 2010,  I had a bestfriend. We were really close that we spent most of our time together. But unfortunately,  something bad happened.  We fought.  But this time it wasnt just those little arguments we had everyday. It was big. Almost the whole school found out about it and the both of us suffered the period where people started asking so many questions like they were the paparazzi's from Celeb TV.  And I would go like 'No comment', 'I don't know, sorry' or just walk away. Yes I was that mad, that I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I'm sure she felt the same way too. I wasnte even sure if I had friends at that time because suddenly everybody is so nice to me (they wanted to know the reason behind our fight).

It was like war to me.  Because I had to look at someone who I had so much hatred 5 days a week.  We were in the same class,  both prefects, both in the same Sports Blue House,  and teachers would always ask the both of us for help and any performances would always include the both of us. We were like the inseparable pair in school. It made a big impact on almost everyone. I'll reject anything a teacher asks me to do if it involves her. And that caused another problem. Then my family didn't have anyone to call incase of emergency in school. Im sorry, I was just too angry that I wouldn't even want to touch, say, see or do anything related to her, or her name.
Rough eyy?

Throughout the period of cold war,  teachers approached me,  my family advised me to forget about the past and Let Bygones be Bygones.  But I still stuck with my decision.  I didnt bother what anyone else said about me.  But on the other side,  my friend tried apologizing to me,  she tried EVERYTHING. And I respect her for doing so.

So guess what?
We became friends again.  But after 730 days . Or 2 freaking years of war.

If she was as stone-hearted as I am,  we would still be enemies and she would still be in my (invisible people list).

So the conclusion here is that eventhough you've been in a terrible fight,  maybe worst than mine.  Till a point where you feel like killing that person ,  think twice.

In the year 2012, Despite me being a selfish, insensitive individual with a heart as hard as rock, God managed to show me the right path. He managed to make me forgive and forget. Everyone around me were happy again. Especially both our parents.

She is now my closest friend.  Because of the 2010 incident,  I hated the word 'Bestfriend' and no matter what happens,  I'll never call anyone my bestfriend.

Positivity

I just realized how much a person can influence me. Especially the one's whom I am close to, the one's I hold on to & the one's I admire.

It all came to a point where I started to notice almost everything. To the slightest bit, either I was asking whether I would do great in my examinations or would I win a competition, I secretly wanted a postive answer despite the fact that I didnt have enough faith or courage to do so. I just needed support, encouragement, and trust.

I remember someone close to me, giving me support, saying I'll succeed & not to worry if I don't cause it's alright. But, it all changed. I grew up, I realised they were 'lies'.. but 'good lies'. And those lies were the one's which brought me up till this level. The different thing now is, nowadays, no one can really do the 'good lie' trick on me, because I know the secret & so do you. People say you can do it, people say it'll be a piece of cake, they say that you don't have to worry.. although they don't really mean it. And I find it really sad. Sad I found out that those words didnt really mean I was 'great'. Not to say I defined myself as 'great', but as a child, everyone wanted to be successful (a doctor,teacher, lawyer, prime minister. etc. )

So now ?
Well for me, no one's really lying to me. When they think I am not ready or not capable of achieving something.. they just say it right to my face. I may have grown up, and people might just think I'm strong enough to handle the truth but instead I still wanted someone to use those tricks on me. Although this time I know it's different. I still wanted someone to tell me I could, even if my chances were 1/1000000. Just to state something here, I really hate when people start telling me the negative side or the failures of something, before I could even try it out. It's like they are already assuming I would end up the same way.

To be honest, I'm not the kind of person who will do better when someone says I can't. I drop lower than my feet thinking I would never succeed.

 I'm the kind of person who likes someone giving me support. Ill do give my best, & because I know I have someone supporting me, I do have a chance to succeed. Unfortunately my friends, this does not exist in my life anymore and I have to accept it. I have to learn to adapt to the new trick, the 'I challenge you to' or the 'If you dont do great, you'll see what happens'. Maybe it's no longer a trick eyy, cause sh!t just got real.

The conclusion, I say negativity destroys you, kills your will power & slowly kills you. 
 

Start

Hi, I'm Eleena Harris.  Some of you might know me because you're in the same school as I am,  or from youtube, or anywhere else.  That does not matter. You can call me, Eleena. which is pronounced the same way you say 'e' lephant.  haha.  smart eyy, comparing my name to an elephant.

Anyway,  I decided to create a blog because recently many new things had been happening around me. where some I find inspiring and the others,  maybe an advice for you people out there.

As for the topic today, Start! Always, always start your day with a positive mind. Trust me,  it makes a difference. Now, imagine yourself waking up early on a Monday. Horrible right ?  Everybody hates Monday's,  kesian dia. okayokay, back to topic. So why not, now you think of the nicest thing that happened on a Monday. Nothing? you suck.. haha.  but seriously, try doing it every morning.  It makes you more energetic to get out of your comfy bed.
Or think of something you'd want to do at work/school. Just take about 1 - 2 minutes to do so.  AND MAKE SURE YOUR EYES ARE OPEN, or you'll end up dreaming about it :p


Give it a try,  tell me how it goes.